Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Feeling Older and Helpless

Monday was the day when I turned 28, and yet still managed to feel as helpless abound things as when I was 8.

Firstly I want to note that I had a fantastic weekend, enjoyable, naughty, excessive and unpredictable as all birthdays should be. I was enjoying my day tremendously, then a couple of friends and myself decided to visit the cinema and watched The Constant Gardener, and never have I entered the cinema feeling wonderful to leave two hours later feeling so disinclined about the world and what impact you can have.

If you've not seen the film it's based on a John Le Carre novel, who I've read quite a few of his books, and is proberbly more known for Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy. The film centers around a diplomat and his wife and how her investigations into phamarcutical companies treated of the African people in drug trials lead to her death, and her husbands pursuit of investigating this.

As all films should, whether light-hearted or more intense, this film moved me completely, very rarely have I been moved to tears, more to do with the knowledge that although this is a film, that there are truths behind this fable, that are killing those that are believing we're protecting them, and even killing those that believe we're saving them.

My grandmother had a saying that "life is simple, only money and other people complicate it", and that's never more true than watching this film. Money has increasing corrupted people, as money has brought power, and with power comes fear of loss of power, which leads people to do dreadfully things to hold onto that, even if it involves hurting or killing other humans.

As I get older I become more frustrated at the injustices in the world and the wholesale corruption of the innocents by money and power, and can do nothing but despair at how it's going to end.