Thursday, November 17, 2005

Cheer Up

I've noticed that the last week or so that this blog has become depressive and angry.

While I'm like that occasionally and this blog is an expression of all the things I can't discuss with my friends, it's unfair for those that read this blog to have just the angry and moody Mr Haf, and all my friends to have the chirpy and smiley Mr Haf.

So to compensate, here's a story from my youth, a kind of realisation story as it were. Hopefully it will make you smile as much as it did me...

This is a story I had forgotten until a couple of
weeks ago during a post club party at my flat in
Brighton, we were all chatting (bitching in some
cases) about the evening, when someone mentioned about
that because they had been in the scouts they were
always organised and prepared, when I casually
announced that the Cubs had turned me gay. Of course
this random verbal statement made everyone laugh, and
someone questioned how that was possible, to which I
replied that I had gone on a Cub's Summer Camp for a
week and came back gay and with a certificate to prove
it. Well once the mocking laughter had died down, I
was asked to expand on my peculiar statement, so...

It all began back in the Summer of 1987, Maggie had
been just voted back in for a third time (a matter of
much cursing in my household), Jeffery 'Honest' Archer
had just won his Libel Trial, and Rudolf Hess was
found dead in Spandau, and more importantly I was
wondering whether I should leave Miss H R. for Miss H
M, as Miss H M friend Miss S R would only go out with
my friend J if I went out with Miss H M, so I can be
forgiven for not noticing the change in the air.

It was at this time that every boy in school was
actively participating in the Cub Scouts, we were all
eager young boys wanting fun and adventure, of course
sliding down inflatable water shoots and learning how
to tie a slip knot can only wear down a boy enthusiasm
for so long, so after attempting to highjack the Girl
Guides meetings and bow down to their Brown Owl, for
which I got a clip round the ear (this was when the
adults clipped the children and not the other way
round), we all stumbled into a cunning plan. There was
one boy who, using our inept skills at detection, we
had convinced ourselves was gay. We barracked him in
the way only small boys can, na na na na.... anyway,
it was during one of these intellectual discussions
about his sexual preferences, someone suggested we all
try it, all 20 of us. It was agreed that during the
Cub Scout Annual Summer Camp we would embark on this
enlightening and dangerous mission of trying out being

A couple of weeks later, we were all boarding the
coach along with 25 other boys and 4 adults to head
for some field near a river for the annual camp. We
arrived and after setting up the camp, the 'gay'
element headed for the nearest forest and the 'rules'
were established, we were spilt into pairs for the
week and it was agreed that we would indulge during
the evenings in the tents (which were holding 10 boys
each) and during the afternoon after lunch when we
would get an hour or so to explore the area. I ended
up with my friend J, who as one of the first in out
year to start puberty, and was exceptionally tall
(about 5'9, in comparison with my miniature 4'4).

So as the week progressed, I found myself enjoying the
'extra' activities more and more (I will refrain from
the glossier details), and then found myself actively
participating in all the 'regular' Cub activities with
glee, as I was trying to get through them as quickly
as possible to get to the 'extra' activities. Now the
leaders of course had no idea about our pledge or any
of the events surrounding that, including the sneaking
from tent to tent in the middle of the night to embark
on said activities, so my enthusiasm for all the tasks
were seen as my dedication to the Cubs and the Camp

So the week passes, and as on these occasions a small
ceremony and prize given is set up. Due to my
eagerness and whole-hearted dedication to the tasks
and activities (ahem!), I was awarded the top honour
of 'Cub of the Camp', hence my award and certificate.

So that's how the Cub's helped me become gay, and how
I have an award and certificate to remind me of my
'coming out' as it were.